A small circular band worn on your finger, piece of jewellery usually made of gold, silver or other precious gems, a ring holds different meaning for people. For someone it is a just piece of decoration, for someone a sense of status, for some it is representative of a permanent bond with your partner but what does a ring mean to me?
The rings on my finger always carried the label of being just jewellery and nothing more but the one on his finger, oh boy! To me it was so much more than just a piece of metal. It changed my reality, made me realise that some roads have been permanently closed off for me now. Certain paths cannot be retraced anymore, that it is no use of waiting anymore. The door that I had held open since two years, the doorframe by which I stood for him to walk through, that door not only is shut for me but it also doesn’t exist anymore for me.
When I met him, I spoke with him, understood that he was with someone else now, that he was someone else’s future now.
It was such a bittersweet moment for me. There was this outburst of happiness for him and the new life that he has ahead of him. I was so invested in him that I literally forgot all about me in those split seconds. Until the moment I saw that ring on his finger, a little part of me somehow managed to keep him alive in my heart and head, a sweet memory of him, a record that was on replay whenever times were hard, some snippets from the good times, and they helped me get through the tough times, but little did I know that a dainty little band on his finger had the power to take away from me all of it in just seconds.
I have read almost a dozen self-help books now, but who knew that the best reality check in life would come from a ring? He wasn’t what I had made him in my head. All this while, when I clutched onto his memories , each time I wasn’t in good shape, reliving my past, he moved one step ahead towards her, his future.
I am yet to find the ability and strength to fall in love with anyone after him, and he fell in love all over again, wholly, madly, and truly. When we parted ways, I stood there watching him walk down the stairs and never look back at me again, I silently prayed that he get all the love and happiness he deserves in life.
How long before you let a person go? Like, what is the time frame? Or can you even let go of the person? Should people like me, who find letting go so difficult, even get attached to someone in the first place? I hadn’t ever been a person who was afraid to fall in love, even if I had to start from point zero, but now things have changed. It has been so difficult lately. I am afraid to open up to anyone; the idea of love seems fake to me. It feels like this romantic ending that I had been fantasizing for myself since childhood is either something I won’t get or that I was never meant for it.
Isn’t it strange that a piece of jewellery can make you go through such a roller coaster of emotions in a jiffy, how it can you question your life decisions, how it can throw you into hours if not months of self-contemplation about who you are and change your being.
If you ask me, a ring is definitely powerful than Thanos. For me that ring wasn’t just a band on his finger, it was a final declaration that you can now walk past those doors, roads and porches where you stood all these years waiting for change, waiting for him. That it is time to finally accept and get up and leave forever.
muffin978 