THE TALK

Just like every other day, Brittany was on her way to the cliff, her usual spot since a month. It was a ten minute hike from the outskirts of the town. Britt enjoyed the hike, the cool breeze but her favourite was the sound of the ocean. She studied the waves very carefully as she sat there talking to her grandmother. The ocean reflected her mood. At times it was aggressive, at times calm, and just blissful to look at. Britt had recently lost her grandmother. “The pain will go away after some time. It will be fine.” Those words resonated in her head everyday as she passed by the houses of the neighbors. But Britt knew that the pain wasn’t getting any less as each day passed by. Every morning was a struggle to live; it was almost difficult for her to get out of the bed to reach for a glass of water. Britt’s grandmother always took her to the cliff, as the sun began to set and they talked about how life was or how James, Britt’s classmate always bullied her.
Recently even James had become awfully quiet. It was probably because of how sad Brittany looked all the time. He said that it wasn’t any fun pestering her because she wouldn’t react to anything that he did.
It was a beautiful and chilly autumn evening. Britt left her house to go to the cliff. As she was climbing , she heard someone crying, she quickly reached the top and to her shock, it was James. He sat there with his knees to his chest ,his eyes all red and puffy, crying as loud as he could. Britt slowly went upto him and asked him what was wrong. To her surprise, James pulled her in a hug, his embrace so tight that Britt thought she was sure to break a bone or two. There they sat, in the evening sun, talking to each other, pouring their hearts out to each other. James’s parents were going to take a divorce and it seemed that it was too much for him to handle. They talked for hours until finally it was too dark and both started for home, holding hands and secretly thankful to each other. Britt knew that day that she wasn’t alone. James squeezed her hand, reassuring her that he will always be by her side. All feel pain; few come forward to talk about it.
That day, two suicides were prevented. At times talking is a good solution.

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JENNIFER, I LOVE YOU.

“Today will be different.” , Jake said to himself as he stood  in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection.

Jake was all okay, happy and a bright young boy until the tenth grade. After that something just wasn’t right. His behavior changed. Jake wasn’t all smiles anymore. He used to lock himself up in his room for days together. Food wasn’t his first love anymore, especially after being diagnosed with an eating disorder. Diana couldn’t understand what was going wrong  with her son. She took him for short weekend trips to cheer him up, tried to confront him about his problems, she also made Jake join a self-help group thinking that maybe he’d be able to open up and address his problems with people his own age. But nothing worked. All of Diana’s attempts were fruitless. Until one night when it all came to light. She now knew what was troubling her son so much.

“No! I am not going to hide anymore. I won’t take this anymore. I am what I am and I won’t change even an inch of it. Let them make fun of me as much as they want. Today I will go up to Shane and tell him to stop what he has been doing. He can’t do this to me. It’s enough now. Today I must speak up or else I might do ‘it’ again.” , Jake said to himself as he got ready for school.

Jake had a  brief  history of clinical depression. He had cut himself many times. His trips to the hospital for the failed suicide attempts had been too much for Diana. That day she made him sit in front of her and asked him to tell her what was going on. Jake told her how he was being bullied at school.  A group of boys abused him at school. They also created several memes and videos about him and got them to go viral on various social media sites. And all of this just because he was different. Because he conducted himself differently than others.

” Mummy does so much for me. She’s also been through a lot. She has helped me change two schools and we have already moved twice since Papa died. I can’t burden her  like this anymore. I must be strong. I can do this. I can. Today will be different.”, Jake spoke with a voice filled with courage and strength but his eyes spoke of a different emotion altogether. He fell to the floor with tears flooding his eyes. He couldn’t stop the memories of his father from rushing into his brain. He missed him a lot. It had just been six months since he had lost his father to a tragic accident.

“Jake, honey, are you ready? You’ll be late. Jake? Are you even listening to me? Jake? Common, hurry up already.”, Diana said as she climbed up the stairs to Jake’s room hastily. When she saw Jake on the floor, she couldn’t help crying. She ran to embrace him in her arms.

“Jake, I know how difficult it has been for you. You’ve gone through a lot. But don’t worry. I have all the paperwork done. Today will be your last day at this school. Tomorrow we’ll be moving out of this town. I am sure that you’ll like the new place. I have taken care of everything. We will begin with the medical procedures and the surgery as soon as you feel ready. Honey, please don’t cry. I can’t see you like this. I want you to know that you are not alone in this. I am there for you. I don’t care what the world says. I want you to know that your Mummy is here for you and that we’ll fight all of this together. I love you Jake. I love you so much.” , having said that Diana hugged him even tighter than before.

Jake faced his mother and wiping her tears began speaking to her politely while looking into her eyes, “Mummy, it’s not Jake, remember? We talked about this that night. It’s Jennifer. I’m Jennifer, Ma. Jennifer.”

“Oh, yes. Jennifer. I’m sorry. Jennifer, I love you.”

 

If we all learn to accept people for who they are then I believe that for each of those people, there will be a ‘today’ that will be different. Transgender, homosexual or bisexual, they’re still humans. Humans who deserve love, respect and most of all, acceptance.

#lgbt #love

lgbt

“GENDER PREFERANCE DOESN’T DEFINE YOU, YOUR SPIRIT DOES.”

                                                                                                                              – P.C.CAST

 

 

FOREVER

                           “I love you, I always will. You’ll always be my forever.”

Aashu is my definition of true love. You know how they talk about love at first sight, well, I fell  for Aashu the day I first saw  him. At the tender age of seventeen, I came to realize and believe that true love exists and it isn’t some romance novel cliché described by hopeless romantics. With Aashu things were always simple. It was as if the word ‘complicated’ wasn’t a part of his life. You’ll ask me what I loved the most about him, well, I loved everything about him. His ‘ not a single fuck given’ attitude, his stupidity, how his lips curved up in a smile when he saw me; I loved all of him. But I was too scared to tell him that. What if our friendship, this special bond that we had, got shattered? What if he decided to not to talk to me ever again? No, I couldn’t risk our friendship over my silly feelings. And I never told him how I felt for him.

After high school ended, we were at the crossroads in our lives. He decided to go to America and I stayed back in India. Time flew soon. It was the 2nd of October, I was anxiously  waiting at the airport for him. I had tried to look my best that day. I looked quite different from my high school days. Now I didn’t have short boyish hair. Instead I had long brown hair that framed my face, petite body and a Brazilian model like complexion. I almost yelled “Aashu” out of excitement and nervousness both but what I saw next broke my heart into a million pieces. A girl was walking with him, clutching him tightly, as if she was sending the message of “He’s mine” to all the other girls that were staring at him. Every two to three seconds she looked at her ring finger with sparkly eyes and planted a kiss on his cheeks. What could’ve I done? We exchange pleasantries and promised to see each other again as an excuse to get to know all that was going on in our lives.

One night, Aashu called me up and before I could even ask him what had happened, he began sobbing uncontrollably over the phone, I panicked. Just within a few minutes I came to know that she had left him for some millionaire of the West. That day we talked for two long hours and in the end he did feel a bit better. I had this strong urge overpowering me, I wanted to scream my lungs out and tell him that, “Aashu, I love you! Please be mine forever!” but I just couldn’t tell him. Life went on. Aashu remarried. He did called me up to invite me for his wedding reception but I denied giving an excuse. How could I possibly go to his wedding reception? I couldn’t muster up the courage to watch the guy I love get married to someone else, again. That was the last time I heard from him. I had almost forgotten about Aashu until this morning when a strange  looking letter arrived at my place.

With trembling fingers and teary eyed, Aashima opened the letter and began reading it.

” Dear Aashima,

God dammit!!! I love you!! I don’t know how should I say this to you. I am just too scared to lose you as a friend. I had fallen for you the day I first saw you but didn’t have the courage to say it. But I really , really love you Aashima!! I love you, I always will. You’ll always be my forever Aashima.

Love, Aashu”

With this a seventy -eight year old widow, Aashima began weeping hysterically. Couldn’t speak a word more at the eulogy of the only guy she had loved the most in her life. Everyone at the church was overwhelmed with emotions and broke into tears.

In the end, I guess we all regret the chances that we never took.

HER

It was Valentine’s Day. I was sitting on my bed when she came in
my room and gently placed a rose in my hands, wishing me a very happy Valenyine’s Day. I couldn’t help but feel bashful. I just hoped that she hadn’t seen me blush. The aroma of that rose filled my room d309bd29b127436d7daea14d477b1eb2almost immediately. I felt as if it was the most scented flower in this world. With its scent so strong and powerful, I could hardly smell anything else in the room. The silkiness of the petals wouldn’t let my fingers stay on them. While I was busy with my rose, she began to narrate a story about the Valentine’s Day. She talked about how rose is the most beautiful flower in the world and that it is a symbol of love.I couldn’t help but wonder how strange the world was. How can just one flower be the most beautiful in this world? Why is rose the symbol of love? Out of all the flowers in this world, how can humans see beauty in just one of them? Are they that stupid!
It’s strange how easliy we have objectified beauty in our world. Quite often the people who come to visit me, ask me about her. Well, almost ninety percent of the time I am at a loss of words to describe her.

For me, she is my rose. A symbol of love and a person who radiates beauty. Whenever she is with me, everything around me turns beautiful, just like magic. I can sense the baeuty in the smell of fresh air, sound of the swaying trees, chirping of the birds and the melody of her voice even when she scolds me. Her touch feels like sunshine on a gloomy rainy day and warmth in the winters. Everything about her is beautiful.

If only I could see the colour of her eyes and the glow on her face when she smiles. All I see is darkness everyhwere but in HER, I find my LIGHT.